In the midst of the cold I find great comfort under my covers. I feel as if I can spend hours that turn into days inside where it is warm. But it is only when I step outside and the brisk air fills my lungs that I feel the day has truly begun. Fresh air can mean a fresh perspective or at the very least a reboot to face a new day.
Humans are creatures of habit and I am no different. I often feel like doing the same thing over and over again brings me a bit of safety. But lately I feel like that feeling of safety is a false sense of security. There are plenty of other routes to take and I realize now that I have to try them out to figure out whether or not they are safe. Still there must be some thought put into deciding which new routes to take. There is great comfort in finding a new safe route especially when you never thought it existed.
I’m not a morning person and it seems everyone would have you believe that if you do not wake up at 5am and start writing then you are not a good writer.
I just want to say I’m quite productive after noon. I used to be the person who started writing at 9pm but as I’ve gotten older I’ve needed more sleep. (I basically didn’t sleep until I was 20 and that was with the help of powerful medication).
But don’t let anyone make you feel bad for not wanting to be bothered first thing in the morning and not getting out of bed until 11am. Morning people are not better than anyone else. I would even argue I’m more productive than many morning people and it’s productivity that matters most.
So if you wake up at noon don’t think the day is shot. The day could just begin.
Writing is very therapeutic – especially if you don’t share it with anyone. When you write just for yourself, to organize your thoughts, excise your pain, record your memories, or for any reason you like, it’s like a cleanse for your spirit.
I recommend you buy a journal even if you only write in it once in your entire life. That one entry is the entry that may make the difference between feeling better and moving on or holding onto something for way too long.
And when you write for yourself it doesn’t matter if you know how to spell or any of the grammar rules. No readers (you don’t have to read what you write. just get it down) equal no judgment.
I hold onto hurt feelings for a long time and I want to hurt people who have hurt me. But I’ve learned recently forgiveness is partly about standing down and not lashing out at someone who hurt you indefinitely.
When you want to hit back instead take a step back. In the distance you can build strength.
Sometimes the best thing you do for someone is leave them alone. It can make a big difference.
People can be the source of great help as well as a source of great pain. It’s your choice. From one human being to another you know if you’re hurting another human being and you can choose to stop.
To most people I’m fine. I’ve been healthy for a while now and when people talk to me there is no clear indication that I have a mental illness. I just like to remind people that this takes work.
If you have a mental illness you have to learn what it takes to keep yourself healthy. Whether that’s medication, therapy, friends & family, a pet, exercise, a creative outlet, a job, sleep, etc. (My health depends on a combination of these things at all times). Once you figure out what those things are you have to make sure you keep a nice balance of these things in your life in order to maintain your health.
Simply put – If you don’t know what it takes to keep your mind and body healthy you will not be healthy for very long.
I’ve never been a patient person and I’ve been told a billion times that “good things come to those who wait.” But waiting still drives me a bit crazy at times.
At times life feels so long – just one long day after the other. It can feel too hard just to take another breath. It is at these times that it’s very important to remind yourself of the times you’ve felt that way before and how after a bit of a wait things changed. Maybe the change wasn’t good but sometimes different is enough to keep you going. Sometimes something bad is the best motivator and when that time is over you can stand taller and stronger knowing you made it through.
Now I find myself telling other people to wait. Practice breeds endurance.
When I lived in Boston I had a few go-to people. When I moved back to NY I wondered what would happen to me without them. I knew I had my parents here but I knew I would need more than them in order to really make it.
One of the scariest thoughts I have as a person with bipolar disorder is that people will not want to have anything to do with me. They will think it’s too much work to have a sick friend and they will choose not to. And then once I establish the relationship I fear I will get sick and lose everything. It has happened before.
But I’m happy to say that in NYC I have found support I could have never imagined from the most unexpected people.
Don’t turn down support. The person you just met may have the support you really need.
If you reach a point when you are healthy stop for a bit and think about what things are keeping you healthy. It could be medication. It could be diet & exercise. It could be the relationship with your friends and family. It could be keeping your stress level low. But it’s most likely a combination of all of those things. At least that’s what it is for me. But whatever it is for you make sure you stay balanced. Don’t just stop taking your medication or give up on your diet & exercise. Don’t stay mad at family and friends and isolate and never speak to anyone. And always mitigate your stress by setting aside time to relax. When you believe in your health you work to preserve it and it’s easier to maintain.