It used to be very difficult for me to carry on a conversation with anyone. After my last break I had to plan all of my conversations with everyone (including my mother) before I had them. Now, many years later, I can converse with people quite easily.
I don’t know why it takes me so long to do things but once I figure things out my life gets a little easier. Along the way some people figured out that I was struggling (faking it) and they made it a point to give me a hard time (just like in the wild when the strongest prey on the weakest).
There’s nothing wrong with faking it. No one is everything they say they are all the time.