So my birthday happened and it’s official – I’ve been living with bipolar disorder for twenty years.
My ten year mark came and went and I didn’t even notice but twenty years (2 decades) is a long long time. I have now been sick for more of my life than I have been healthy.
Now I don’t want anyone to think that I am actually sick at this time because I am not. It’s just that as long as I have the illness (which is forever) I’ll always think of myself as sick. I still believe healthy people don’t have to take medication or see doctors on a regular basis. But I am a self proclaimed healthy sick person.
Twenty years in I still deal with stigma and wonder if people think of me as weak or less than because I have a mental illness. Twenty years in I still hate taking medication and seeing a psychiatrist (even if only 2x a year). Twenty years in I’m still writing about being sick because it helps me cope. And twenty years in I’m ready for the beginning of my 21st year when I have no idea what to do with myself because I never thought I’d get here.