Sometimes it’s a bit scary to think of what my life would be like if I were to become sick again. I know what the doctors tell me – that the chances of me becoming sick again decease with each passing day of health – but with no actual certainty I still wonder what if.
The truth is I know what will happen if I become sick again. I’ve been very sick quite often and those memories do not go away completely no matter how much time has passed. What I do not know is how I would recover. The last time I was sick I didn’t believe I would ever recover but I was wrong. And I wonder if my belief that I will recover from yet another break is also wrong. All I know for sure is that I do not want to find out for sure.
As I live my life, symptom free and with a clear mind, it still makes me a bit nervous to not know for sure that the rest of my life will be healthy. But I live each day of health with hope for the future keeping in mind that there are no guarantees.