So I have this date in my mind that marks twenty years with bipolar disorder – 10 years sick and 10 years healthy. I keep calculating how far away it is and thinking of how healthy I will be on this date, how much it will mean to me as a sign that there is a definite possibility I will never end up in a hospital again.
And then I thought waiting to for this date to really enjoy my life does not take into account how healthy I am today. Yes, I will be healthier once I hit that mark but I am healthy now and there’s no need to organize my life around this marker that will close the door on a bit of my past I have to remember but would love to forget.
So I free myself to live my life as the day approaches as if it is just another day.
Because to everyone else – that’s exactly what it is.