Brownsville

Here we go again. . .

Here we go againAt some point throughout each day I forget I have a mental illness.  It may only last an hour or so.  But sometime between waking up and going to bed I feel healthy and free of any diagnosis.

But once I step into a doctor’s office it all comes back to me.  How much I hate having an illness with no cure and how there’s no way out of tests or medication or how I can’t live without insurance.

Sitting in a waiting room I feel different but not in a special or cool way.  I begin to think of all the people who never have to go through anything like this and I become jealous of their carefree health.  I think of how maintaining my health puts tethers on my life and they hold me down in a chair while I wait for my name to be called.

I say a little prayer that the visit will go well and I can look forward to the moment I have the next day where I forget I have a mental illness.

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