Brownsville

Why move back to NYC?

brooklyn bridgeSo there were several reasons why I decided to move back to NYC.  My parents were the biggest reason.  It’s not just that they are getting older.  It was also, having attended boarding school I did not grow up around my parents.  I always missed that time.  I saw it as a missed opportunity once I was grown and on my own.  It’s funny because when I was 14 all I wanted to do was get away from my parents and at 34 I missed them so much all I wanted to do was move back home.

I also felt I’d lost a bit of myself in the midst of illness and I need to go back home and back to St. Paul’s to figure out who I used to be when I was healthy.  I had a memory of being a bad ass who thought she could get into Harvard and actually pulled it off.  Where was that girl?  Amidst the hospitalizations, medication, therapy, psychosis, and depression that girl was lost.  I had a vague memory of her but I was nowhere near to being like her anymore.

I think I’ve begun to find her in Brownsville.  This is where I began to dream.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply