Family & Friends

Do You Know?

me and momWhen I was eight I went to Disney World with my mother, my aunt, and cousins.  My aunt, cousins, & I went to the hotel pool without my mom.  My cousin and I decided to race around the pool through deep and shallow waters even though neither one of us was a very good swimmer.

Not ever wanting to lose to my cousin I made a move to pass him.  I let go of the pole surrounding the inside edge of the pool and attempted to move quickly around his mid-size body.

But once I was away from the wall I began to panic.  My toes no longer grazed the bottom of the pool.  This realization caused me to sink.  I threw my arms up hoping to grab something but they seemed to splash more water down my throat and up my nose.  I went completely under twice and was about to go under a third time when my cousin reached out and guided me to the wall.

This incident left me with a long lingering fear of water.  My mother forced me to take swimming lessons to ensure I would never drown but the fear of water has never truly left me.

A couple of weeks ago as my mother and I talked of old times we talked about this incident.  She jokingly asked me if I’d figured out why God spared my life.  I said I hadn’t figured it out and I was just existing.  She said it must have been so that I can be with her.

It got me thinking. – My life has been spared on more than one occasion.  At the age of 19 I was diagnosed with Type I Bipolar Disorder.  I put myself into situations where it would have been easy to lose my life and while battling Depression I put considerable thought into planning how to end my life.  Yet here I am in Full Remission.  I have to ask myself why have I been spared?

Undoubtedly, my mom is a big reason I’m still here but there’s work to do to live up to all of my second chances.


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